Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
