McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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