So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
