i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
