I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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