Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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