I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
