Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
