Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
