Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
