From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
