Don't you send me to vm
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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