PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
