Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
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