i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
