haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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