been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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