im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
