im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
