BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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