after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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