He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
