Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
