I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
