Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
