dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
