doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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