Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
