Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
