____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
