Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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