Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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