I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
