I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
