This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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