your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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