how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
