Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Randomize
