before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
