Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm passing your future prison.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Randomize
