The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Randomize
