so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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