I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
