We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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