I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Just high enough for therapy.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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