one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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