told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
