You really coming over, don't trick.
I faked an abortion last night.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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