Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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