we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
